Lost

This post is way overdue. I was planning on posting every morning - but when you're running late for work on a day that you have meetings you just have to skip a few things like breakfast and blogging. I promised myself that I would blog everyday that I could and I know that waking up late is not a good excuse. Even though I love sleeping and when I'm having an amazing or interesting dream it is worth hitting the snooze button a few extra times.

I've been running for about a year and a half now. I love it. It is my way of relaxing in some strange twisted way. It really helps with my stress levels and it makes me feel good about myself.  I ran 4 miles today. I left a get together at my employers 'cottage' a bit early (I mean really, it's a frickin house, on a lake, but it's a house - it make me wonder what his 'house' looks like). I had one beer and then I left. It is very difficult to sneak out of gatherings like that without telling everyone goodbye and thank you and all that crap. But I managed to do it, I just said I was going to go and said "bye" and left. It was refreshing to be able to just leave because I wanted to - I didn't really feel obligated to stay and I'm pretty happy about that. I've been working on doing what I want to do and not worrying too much about anyone's feelings and this was a nice test. I was offered additional drinks - but my desire to get home and go for a run trumped my wanting to stand around on the boss's brand new patio and beach blabbing about nothing important with my co-workers.

My run was nice - but what was better was when I got out of the shower, my s.o. had dinner all plated up and sitting on the table. He was nice enough to cook and then wait for me to eat it. He is such a great guy. He even went over to our neighbor's house to extract a bat and then let it go outside.  As much as I may complain about him and as much as he may get on my nerves sometimes, he is a wonderful man and I am very lucky to have such a thoughtful and caring person in my life. He is having some major health problems (shoulder replacements because of AVN, among other things) and I am really worrying about how long he is going to be able to walk and take care of himself. It's really scary and it's just starting to weigh on me now that his second shoulder replacement is nearing. He is everything I ever thought I wanted in a relationship and now I feel like someday he just wont be there and not because of a choice he made but because of his health. I don't want to lose him.