Illuminated

I just finished watching 'Everything is Illuminated'. Interesting movie. Really makes you consider your predecessors lives - especially if they came from a different country and an era and place where a war happened. It makes we want to travel to Ireland. To see where my family came from, the problem is that my family moved to America so many years ago that there is no one alive today that would remember those people or anything about them. I might be able to find distant cousins and maybe their elders would be able to shed some light on the brave souls that migrated across the ocean, but odds are it would be extremely difficult to find them even if they did know anything.

I finally got to eat my birthday cake today. I had a cake at work (a nice surprise) on my day, but this one was special. My s.o. got it for me and we were so tired when we got home that night that he forgot and I fell asleep. I'm just dragging out my birthday celebrations so I can feel like I haven't turned 30 quite yet. This is Birthday: Day 3. I did realize though that no one sang the happy birthday song to me this year - for the first time in my life. 5 years ago I was serenaded by three men - two of which I slept with and while I only slept next to the third one. Interesting what half a decade can do.

My s.o.'s brother. What a piece of work. I love the guy. He's building an awesome set of steps/deck on the back of the house we live in. He's very good at what he does and he loves it and you can tell. But when it comes to women, that is another story. He keeps dating these girls that are nowhere close to what he wants in his life. He breaks up with them because of the drama, but gets back together with them because he's lonely, or he needs something to do, or just because he needs to be getting laid to feel good about himself. He's an attractive, intelligent, talented, funny (seriously), all-around-great kind of guy. He just keeps selling himself short because he will settle for anything with two-legs-and-a-hole because it makes him feel validated and worthy. I want to slap him around and force him to make a list of the top twelve things he is looking for in a woman and not allow him to date anyone that doesn't match that list. He is wasting his energy and his life chasing tail and feeling empty because those relationships never go where he wants them to.

I didn't run today. Too hot. I'm going to run tomorrow even though it is Friday and my s.o.'s son is spending the night at a friends house. I'm going to make the time to do it - even if it's only a 4 miler. I can always run a 6 or 8 miler this weekend. Thank the universe that it is a long weekend - and hopefully its not the last of the summer weather. I've got to set aside some time to do these things that I want to do. I just haven't figured out how to make it work and starting next week it is going to be even more complicated because school starts and I'll have to take a kid to school every morning.

I think that Saturday mornings will be where it's at. Before everyone else is up during the week maybe. But mostly the weekend. I just need to do it and stop thinking about it.