This is the first blog hop I've participated in. I'd like to extend a big thank you to my new creative friend Jacque for inviting me to participate. Most of you probably got here from there - but if not - you can check out her writing at The Jacqueverse. This lady actually writes books!
Writing for me has always been something that I've aspired to do. Dreamt of. Planned on doing. Put off. And finally have gotten around to. At least in spurts.
What Am I Working On?: I'm currently working on a semi-fictional screenplay. It's full of half-truths, partial-lies and lots of naughty bits. Large swaths of it are based on my life, some scenes fantasized, a few are pure conjecture - but I've been sworn to secrecy as to which are which. When Judd Apatow makes it into a movie I might be forced to divulge more details.
How Does My Work Differ From Others Of Its Genre?: I think that the main difference is that it is from the perspective of a female protagonist in her mid-thirties but has the dirty jokes and grit of a more masculine role. Plenty of jokes about male anatomy, stupid things that men do in relationships at all stages, and the chumminess of having callous, rough, loud-mouthed, beer drinking, butt-scratching girlfriends that would much rather hang out with guys.
Why Do I Write What I Do?: It helps me process the relationships in my life and gives me the opportunity to peer a little deeper into the rabbit-hole that is friendship, romantic relationships, and human companionship.
How Does My Writing Process Work?: It just happens. Really. I'm not making this up. It has taken me a very long time to have the courage to start writing down the things that pop into my head. And that is exactly how it works. Something will cross my mind and I'll work to develop it into a scene. It might be a vision of a restaurant that comes to mind - and I'll write that down - describing the cooks, a waitress, maybe a cigarette smoking patron that seems to be lost staring into their cup of cold coffee. A few weeks later, I might have a thought about a specific male character... and then I might decide that he needs to be the one she meets in that restaurant. Then it all comes together. Scene by scene. This process does take a long time to develop any real writing - but it feels natural and the scenes and characters feel organic this way. Nothing forced or contrived.
I don't have many blogger friends to link to just yet - but when I get some, I'll share their sites and hopefully you'll take the time to check them out too!
Monday, April 28, 2014
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Vegetarian Eats
I'm not one of those vegetarians that make a huge deal out of not eating meat - or at least I try my best not to be. It can be hard in social situations, at family gatherings, or at any potluck event to not appear as if you're being a picky weirdo while you peer into dish after dish of food that someone else prepared and attempt to determine whether or not there might be animal products in it. Close friends will make sure you have something to eat - but having to ask "what is in that?" can come across the wrong way. Then of course, you have to fess up to being a non-meat eater and everyone gives you that look like you're totally crazy and then they start with the questions.
"Well, do you eat chicken?"
"How about fish?"
"Don't you eat eggs?"
"You like butter don't you?"
I'm writing this today because I had the pleasure (again) of eating at one of my favorite restaurants in town - om cafe. This is one of the few places where I can order practically anything on the menu. Having so many choices of vegan, vegetarian, gluten fee, macrobiotic and generally healthy options is a rare thing at a restaurant. They procure as many of their menu items from local farms and vendors as possible. While they have a focus on vegetarian cuisine, they do also offer fish and seafood options. Their menu does change frequently - but the best part is that everything they create is a wonderful treat and if you visit them often enough, you'll get to try many more meat-free options and expand the horizons of your palate and maybe your mind!
There are many kinds of vegetarians - some that won't eat fish - some that still enjoy dairy products - and of course, some that eat bacon (yes, really - there are "vegetarians-except-for-meat-candy" out there). Vegans are much more strict and don't have the variables that vegetarians do. Understanding and acceptance of these "weirdos" does depend on where you're from - some places have higher concentrations of vegans and vegetarians than others - and it is becoming more common to abstain from eating our animal friends and the products that are made from them. Just don't forget to BYOT (Bring Your Own Tofu) when you know you'll be eating with carnivorous friends!
"Well, do you eat chicken?"
"How about fish?"
"Don't you eat eggs?"
"You like butter don't you?"
I'm writing this today because I had the pleasure (again) of eating at one of my favorite restaurants in town - om cafe. This is one of the few places where I can order practically anything on the menu. Having so many choices of vegan, vegetarian, gluten fee, macrobiotic and generally healthy options is a rare thing at a restaurant. They procure as many of their menu items from local farms and vendors as possible. While they have a focus on vegetarian cuisine, they do also offer fish and seafood options. Their menu does change frequently - but the best part is that everything they create is a wonderful treat and if you visit them often enough, you'll get to try many more meat-free options and expand the horizons of your palate and maybe your mind!
There are many kinds of vegetarians - some that won't eat fish - some that still enjoy dairy products - and of course, some that eat bacon (yes, really - there are "vegetarians-except-for-meat-candy" out there). Vegans are much more strict and don't have the variables that vegetarians do. Understanding and acceptance of these "weirdos" does depend on where you're from - some places have higher concentrations of vegans and vegetarians than others - and it is becoming more common to abstain from eating our animal friends and the products that are made from them. Just don't forget to BYOT (Bring Your Own Tofu) when you know you'll be eating with carnivorous friends!
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Back At It
It has been years since I have written in this blog. I've decided that I should return to this process, maybe not on a daily basis - but on a very regular one. I've recently lost a job that I thought I'd have for a long time - but adversity brings on creativity, right? I've started at a new company, in a position I thought I'd enjoy and immediately got thrown into a better position due to the fact that another employee was leaving. You might think that this is wonderful. The real problem is that the boss is not a very ethical business person.
This new boss is reactionary and doesn't consider the laws and the actual cost of making quick decisions in the heat of the moment, or on some kind of whim. I am of the mind that a great business-minded person will take a situation and look at the options and weigh every aspect before coming to a well educated conclusion as to what the best action might be. Whims are something that children have - and occasionally, something that interesting adults have - not something that a boss should be operating a company on. For example: When hourly employees do not want to attend company functions unpaid and on their own time, the employer decides to make those employees salaried and telling them that they no longer need to punch in - telling them to "just make a note of the extra hours you work - that will work in your favor when reviews come around". This is WRONG. Especially when those employees are considered "non-exempt" according to the FLSA rules and regulations. Those overtime hours need to be paid as time and a half in real dollars - not as "extra credit" on your next performance review. When this was brought to the attention of my boss, they told me that I had misunderstood what was said - which is completely inaccurate. When someone says, "You will now be salaried and no longer need to use the time clock. You will be putting in between 40 and 45 hours a week" - that is pretty clear - they don't want real documented accounts of your time and they will only be paying you for 40 hours of your time even if you work 45. The real problem is their ignorance of the employment law and what constitutes as "exempt" and "non-exempt" positions. I'd rather punch a clock and get paid time and a half for overtime. Being "salaried" is not always an advantage.
Therefore, (sorry for the long rant - just a bit peeved), I've decided to continue working at that craptastic place until I can find something better while in the meantime working on creating my own business. I need a creative outlet again - and I need something that can make me some extra cash. This is where my art and design work comes in. Fine art photography, sewing, knitting, gardening, anything that I can make some money doing while reaping some personal enjoyment would suit me. Having a full-time job seems to suck the life out of me and makes me waste my "free-time" watching old BBC shows on Netflix while I feverishly knit some new project. I should be spending this time planning and working out new creative ideas for products that I can produce and sell. It's not rocket science/brain surgery/any other profession or task that the general public seems to find complicated. It is actually pretty simple - and lots of entrepreneurs have fulfilled their dreams by learning how to find a niche, design a product line and then find the best way to produce, market and sell it.
It's time for me to find ways to support myself spiritually, creatively, emotionally, all while making ends meet. It's possible. I've seen hundreds of people do it - and I know there are thousands of people out there that are capable of doing this for themselves if they just had the faith in themselves to give it a shot. It is about time that I found the faith to do it myself.
This new boss is reactionary and doesn't consider the laws and the actual cost of making quick decisions in the heat of the moment, or on some kind of whim. I am of the mind that a great business-minded person will take a situation and look at the options and weigh every aspect before coming to a well educated conclusion as to what the best action might be. Whims are something that children have - and occasionally, something that interesting adults have - not something that a boss should be operating a company on. For example: When hourly employees do not want to attend company functions unpaid and on their own time, the employer decides to make those employees salaried and telling them that they no longer need to punch in - telling them to "just make a note of the extra hours you work - that will work in your favor when reviews come around". This is WRONG. Especially when those employees are considered "non-exempt" according to the FLSA rules and regulations. Those overtime hours need to be paid as time and a half in real dollars - not as "extra credit" on your next performance review. When this was brought to the attention of my boss, they told me that I had misunderstood what was said - which is completely inaccurate. When someone says, "You will now be salaried and no longer need to use the time clock. You will be putting in between 40 and 45 hours a week" - that is pretty clear - they don't want real documented accounts of your time and they will only be paying you for 40 hours of your time even if you work 45. The real problem is their ignorance of the employment law and what constitutes as "exempt" and "non-exempt" positions. I'd rather punch a clock and get paid time and a half for overtime. Being "salaried" is not always an advantage.
Therefore, (sorry for the long rant - just a bit peeved), I've decided to continue working at that craptastic place until I can find something better while in the meantime working on creating my own business. I need a creative outlet again - and I need something that can make me some extra cash. This is where my art and design work comes in. Fine art photography, sewing, knitting, gardening, anything that I can make some money doing while reaping some personal enjoyment would suit me. Having a full-time job seems to suck the life out of me and makes me waste my "free-time" watching old BBC shows on Netflix while I feverishly knit some new project. I should be spending this time planning and working out new creative ideas for products that I can produce and sell. It's not rocket science/brain surgery/any other profession or task that the general public seems to find complicated. It is actually pretty simple - and lots of entrepreneurs have fulfilled their dreams by learning how to find a niche, design a product line and then find the best way to produce, market and sell it.
It's time for me to find ways to support myself spiritually, creatively, emotionally, all while making ends meet. It's possible. I've seen hundreds of people do it - and I know there are thousands of people out there that are capable of doing this for themselves if they just had the faith in themselves to give it a shot. It is about time that I found the faith to do it myself.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Take What is Rightfully Yours
Late hour, sitting at my computer. Drinking vodka and tonic with limes out of a cheap pint glass - stirring it with a odd chopstick from the knife drawer. I feel accomplished today - not yesterday - or this weekend for that matter - but today I do. I worked. Made cream of tomato soup from scratch. Started knitting sleeve number two for my hoodie. Read. Made banana bread - also from scratch. Working on uploading all of my photos from my trip to Europe 3 years ago - finally going to print them. The great thing about waiting so long is remembering all of those thing that I saw and indulged in and enjoyed.
I had a very short but extremely stimulating conversation with a co-worker today. He's older and has been doing graphic design since you actually had to physically cut and paste (using real scissors and real paste) things on a page. He is a painter. He helps me think though stuff occasionally and he really helped spark something today - just a process thing - but it will make a real difference for me.
I found today to be a nice inspiration for a jump start is enthusiasm and getting things done. I haven't run since Saturday's race - so it has given me more time and energy to accomplish other tasks. It seems to me when I ignore my s.o. and his son and focus on what I need or want to do and sort of 'hate' on them - that is when I do more for myself.
Last night my s.o. threw my cat (a.k.a. my fuzzy little muse) off of the bed. I was petting her, she was purring and just about to lay down and snuggle with me when he tossed her off the bed. Not in a nice way either. I slapped him and bitched him out for being a jerk. I've been pissed off ever since. And then when I got home and got on the guys cases about getting shit done, I'm the one that gets yelled at for being a controlling bitch. I'm just trying to keep people on task and to keep them productive, instead of watching bullshit re-runs of crap shows that they have already seen and know how the mystery unravels.
It's so much better to be getting stuff done than to be laying on your ass and not improving yourself in any good kind of way. I do more stuff for me - like I should anyway- when I am pissed off at someone for being a total jerk. I shouldn't have to do that. I should just do more stuff for me and not feel guilty about it. Guilt. That is where the problem is for most people most of the time. Guilt prevents us from taking what we want - be it the last piece of cheesecake, the sweet piece of ass from the office, or the new car that you really could afford if you just re-budgeted. Screw everyone else. If they aren't out to get what they want out of life, then let them be trampled by those who are out to get it by any means necessary.
Guiltfree. As it should be.
I had a very short but extremely stimulating conversation with a co-worker today. He's older and has been doing graphic design since you actually had to physically cut and paste (using real scissors and real paste) things on a page. He is a painter. He helps me think though stuff occasionally and he really helped spark something today - just a process thing - but it will make a real difference for me.
I found today to be a nice inspiration for a jump start is enthusiasm and getting things done. I haven't run since Saturday's race - so it has given me more time and energy to accomplish other tasks. It seems to me when I ignore my s.o. and his son and focus on what I need or want to do and sort of 'hate' on them - that is when I do more for myself.
Last night my s.o. threw my cat (a.k.a. my fuzzy little muse) off of the bed. I was petting her, she was purring and just about to lay down and snuggle with me when he tossed her off the bed. Not in a nice way either. I slapped him and bitched him out for being a jerk. I've been pissed off ever since. And then when I got home and got on the guys cases about getting shit done, I'm the one that gets yelled at for being a controlling bitch. I'm just trying to keep people on task and to keep them productive, instead of watching bullshit re-runs of crap shows that they have already seen and know how the mystery unravels.
It's so much better to be getting stuff done than to be laying on your ass and not improving yourself in any good kind of way. I do more stuff for me - like I should anyway- when I am pissed off at someone for being a total jerk. I shouldn't have to do that. I should just do more stuff for me and not feel guilty about it. Guilt. That is where the problem is for most people most of the time. Guilt prevents us from taking what we want - be it the last piece of cheesecake, the sweet piece of ass from the office, or the new car that you really could afford if you just re-budgeted. Screw everyone else. If they aren't out to get what they want out of life, then let them be trampled by those who are out to get it by any means necessary.
Guiltfree. As it should be.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Putting it in Motion
Yesterday was a bust. I ran that race. Came home, showered, ate, took a little nap and then got sucked into a whole day of hanging out with my s.o.'s family on his parents boat. Yes, fun - but not what I had planned. I did manage to read a bit last night - but I essentially got zero from my list accomplished. I love spontaneity but I don't like it when I have other plans. It was a nice alternative to going to the beach though - we got equally as sunburned and I drank the same amount of beer.
Today will be different. Besides the trip over to the fabric and yarn store with my pseudo-mother-in-law, I'll be blasting through the list. I've already put one last coat of acrylic gel on the one sample that needed it. I'm drinking coffee and getting geared up.
I've got to get my ass in motion so this is going to be short - I'll try to write more later!
Today will be different. Besides the trip over to the fabric and yarn store with my pseudo-mother-in-law, I'll be blasting through the list. I've already put one last coat of acrylic gel on the one sample that needed it. I'm drinking coffee and getting geared up.
I've got to get my ass in motion so this is going to be short - I'll try to write more later!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Purpose of All This
Tomorrow I will get up early and run a 7 miler through the vineyards of Lelanau County. Tonight I am drinking a beer - or two - okay two. Consider it part of my carbo-loading. And my pre-race relaxing. I'm also gearing up for my weekend of making. I have already told my s.o. that this is what I'm planning on doing with my weekend time and I think he understands. I'm going to be selfish for most of this weekend. I need to do that more. I give so much of myself away the rest of the time. I stayed late at work today, I spent my lunch hour a few days ago shopping for stuff that the guys needed, I usually spend my lunch hours cleaning the house or prepping dinner. I should be spending that time cultivating my creativity and knitting and reading and doing something for myself.
My acrylic gels will be ready for peeling the paper off tomorrow. I'm excited to see how that is going to work out. The one that I have been laying down textures on for every layer has some wonderful character. The other one is really flat right now, but when I add textures to the right parts it might just pop.
I need to find a way to be less of a pessimist. At work, but just in general. I think it has something to do with the lack of control I have over certain things in my life and the amount of control I have over other things and my ability to influence things if only I would instate that control and do something about it. This weekend is part of the beginning of the death of my pessimism and the ruin of my attempt to control shit that I shouldn't even worry about.
Control. That is the real problem but it is also the solution. I will because I want to.
I'm afraid of boring my 'audience' with this blog - but at the same time this is not about them. It's about me processing all of the shit that is in my head everyday and clearing it out and attempting to make sense of it. If you're bored, I'm not sorry. Thanks for reading this much - and I hope it's interesting - but I'm just trying to get a jump start on my creative life (again). Journaling is a great way to do that - and posting it on a blog is just a little extra motivation for me. There are very few people that I feel comfortable sharing my creative endeavors with at least in the preliminary parts of the process so it's just easier to stick it all out in the giant sea of garbage that they call the internet and share it with everyone and no one simultaneously all anonymously. It is amazing the secrets that people reveal to the vastness of cyberspace.
I have found that this is the best place to rant, bitch, vent, philosophise, spew random shit and think. It keeps me from driving people in my real life totally crazy and lets me repeat myself as many times I want by restating the same crap over and over in different ways. You don't know me and I don't know you and who really gives a shit anyway. This is where I figure out things that need to be figured out. Sometimes it's paragraphs and minutes into this before anything good comes out - or should I say - reveals itself. That's how it works. I sort of free associate - go with my natural mind-flow and just type what I want and what I'm thinking right now. Most of the time it's crap or the same crap - but occasionally there is a gem of a concept or thought that really means something and that is what makes it all worth it.
I'm so into music now - I never used to be - I was a standard Beatles fan, a classic rock fan, and then something changed. I started listening to different stuff. Playing roulette with the CD selection at the library. Then I discovered Pandora. Fuck, I love it. Really, like where else can you find stuff you like and then have them show you more stuff that you're going to like too. White Lies, Miike Snow, The Bravery, Mute Math, Jupiter One, Hard-Fi, The Editors, Interpol, MGMT, Cut Copy, The Kooks, really - so much stuff that I would have never heard of if I would have just listened to the bullshit that they play on the average radio stations. It's sick to me to think that most people will never hear of most of these bands. But it also makes me feel good about discovering them for myself and enjoying their music.
I think I've expelled enough of my interpersonality for today - off to knitting and readng and some sleep.
My acrylic gels will be ready for peeling the paper off tomorrow. I'm excited to see how that is going to work out. The one that I have been laying down textures on for every layer has some wonderful character. The other one is really flat right now, but when I add textures to the right parts it might just pop.
I need to find a way to be less of a pessimist. At work, but just in general. I think it has something to do with the lack of control I have over certain things in my life and the amount of control I have over other things and my ability to influence things if only I would instate that control and do something about it. This weekend is part of the beginning of the death of my pessimism and the ruin of my attempt to control shit that I shouldn't even worry about.
Control. That is the real problem but it is also the solution. I will because I want to.
I'm afraid of boring my 'audience' with this blog - but at the same time this is not about them. It's about me processing all of the shit that is in my head everyday and clearing it out and attempting to make sense of it. If you're bored, I'm not sorry. Thanks for reading this much - and I hope it's interesting - but I'm just trying to get a jump start on my creative life (again). Journaling is a great way to do that - and posting it on a blog is just a little extra motivation for me. There are very few people that I feel comfortable sharing my creative endeavors with at least in the preliminary parts of the process so it's just easier to stick it all out in the giant sea of garbage that they call the internet and share it with everyone and no one simultaneously all anonymously. It is amazing the secrets that people reveal to the vastness of cyberspace.
I have found that this is the best place to rant, bitch, vent, philosophise, spew random shit and think. It keeps me from driving people in my real life totally crazy and lets me repeat myself as many times I want by restating the same crap over and over in different ways. You don't know me and I don't know you and who really gives a shit anyway. This is where I figure out things that need to be figured out. Sometimes it's paragraphs and minutes into this before anything good comes out - or should I say - reveals itself. That's how it works. I sort of free associate - go with my natural mind-flow and just type what I want and what I'm thinking right now. Most of the time it's crap or the same crap - but occasionally there is a gem of a concept or thought that really means something and that is what makes it all worth it.
I'm so into music now - I never used to be - I was a standard Beatles fan, a classic rock fan, and then something changed. I started listening to different stuff. Playing roulette with the CD selection at the library. Then I discovered Pandora. Fuck, I love it. Really, like where else can you find stuff you like and then have them show you more stuff that you're going to like too. White Lies, Miike Snow, The Bravery, Mute Math, Jupiter One, Hard-Fi, The Editors, Interpol, MGMT, Cut Copy, The Kooks, really - so much stuff that I would have never heard of if I would have just listened to the bullshit that they play on the average radio stations. It's sick to me to think that most people will never hear of most of these bands. But it also makes me feel good about discovering them for myself and enjoying their music.
I think I've expelled enough of my interpersonality for today - off to knitting and readng and some sleep.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Running is like Art
Last night, before I posted anything, I fell asleep-on the couch-with my kindle in my lap. I guess it was just too much yesterday. Busy at work - then making homemade tomato soup from our garden tomatoes - and a 4 mile run - and then relaxing. I did get a run in today too - 10K Vasa Trail Loop. Beautiful, saw those two white tailed deer again - within a quarter mile of where they were last time. Majestic creatures - makes no sense to me why anyone would shoot them.
I'm planning a weekend of 'making'. For real this time. I'm gathering materials and prepping for it. I do have a 7-miler - the Harvest Stompede - early on Saturday - I have to be there by 7:30 for packet pick up. After that - I'll probably buy myself some breakfast - or come home and take a shower and then go get breakfast and bring along my sketchbook.
This is how I'm going to jump start my making it. I'm going to spend all the feasible minutes of my weekend making things and working through processes. I have to do it! Here's my list:
I also need more nature. Maybe a photo shoot.
FOCUS. If I can make myself run 6 miles when I'm really not feeling it, I can make myself make some art! I think it's really that same concept. I've always been an individual sport kind of girl. Never enjoyed working on group projects. Love being in my own space alone doing what I want. Running is like that. But sometimes you have to push yourself to do it. I don't run in the morning - first of all because I can't ever get out of bed early enough to do it and still make it to work without being more than my typical variety of late - but mostly because it makes me sick, it makes me feel like throwing up and gives me a headache. I use running as a de-stress-ifying end of my day thing. To be completed before dinner, but after work. It keeps me sane and on an even keel. I have been running for almost 2 years now. I love it and would never go back to a couch-potato lifestyle. Running is how I relax. I find that some of my best runs - or best results from a run - are from those that I force myself to do.
I think that is when I do my best artwork too. When I am absolutely forced to be creative. Like for every single one of my projects in college. I'm the Queen of Procrastination - dubbed that by my parents during high school due to my lack of preplanning and preparation and basic "I better get started on this ahead of time because it's a huge project worth half my grade" train of thought. But those projects always got me A's. When it was down to the wire, glue is not dry but I'm turning it in, putting the last coat of protective spray on it even though I'll be tardy for class but it's due right now, pulling the pins out of it and trimming threads as I walked to class, those were the times that I did my best work. I need that. I need the pressure. I need to force myself to get into a routine and 'train' for creativity and set deadlines and a schedule. Just like I do for running a race. I must. That is what this weekend is about! Begin where you are.
I'm planning a weekend of 'making'. For real this time. I'm gathering materials and prepping for it. I do have a 7-miler - the Harvest Stompede - early on Saturday - I have to be there by 7:30 for packet pick up. After that - I'll probably buy myself some breakfast - or come home and take a shower and then go get breakfast and bring along my sketchbook.
This is how I'm going to jump start my making it. I'm going to spend all the feasible minutes of my weekend making things and working through processes. I have to do it! Here's my list:
- Acrylic Gel Lifts Testing - Finally getting the paper off them, layering them with color and applying them to the gesso boards.
- Water drop Background - Complete it!
- Photo Backdrop & Stand - Buy bolts & sew backdrop pole pockets and hems.
- Grey Wrap Skirt - Make pattern & make skirt - need to do this while it is still warm enough to wear!
- Work Through Woman Piece - Look at symbolism and concepts for the main portrait part of the piece and figure out how to shoot it and photoshop it.
- Work on Red Coat - If I have time.
I also need more nature. Maybe a photo shoot.
FOCUS. If I can make myself run 6 miles when I'm really not feeling it, I can make myself make some art! I think it's really that same concept. I've always been an individual sport kind of girl. Never enjoyed working on group projects. Love being in my own space alone doing what I want. Running is like that. But sometimes you have to push yourself to do it. I don't run in the morning - first of all because I can't ever get out of bed early enough to do it and still make it to work without being more than my typical variety of late - but mostly because it makes me sick, it makes me feel like throwing up and gives me a headache. I use running as a de-stress-ifying end of my day thing. To be completed before dinner, but after work. It keeps me sane and on an even keel. I have been running for almost 2 years now. I love it and would never go back to a couch-potato lifestyle. Running is how I relax. I find that some of my best runs - or best results from a run - are from those that I force myself to do.
I think that is when I do my best artwork too. When I am absolutely forced to be creative. Like for every single one of my projects in college. I'm the Queen of Procrastination - dubbed that by my parents during high school due to my lack of preplanning and preparation and basic "I better get started on this ahead of time because it's a huge project worth half my grade" train of thought. But those projects always got me A's. When it was down to the wire, glue is not dry but I'm turning it in, putting the last coat of protective spray on it even though I'll be tardy for class but it's due right now, pulling the pins out of it and trimming threads as I walked to class, those were the times that I did my best work. I need that. I need the pressure. I need to force myself to get into a routine and 'train' for creativity and set deadlines and a schedule. Just like I do for running a race. I must. That is what this weekend is about! Begin where you are.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Fashion Phase
I had a great day today. Got the kid to school - talked to the office staff about the 4 things I needed to ask, made sure he knew where to go to get his schedule and locker info and then left. Went to work - arrived a little early, chatted with one of my co-workers that I don't get to have private conversations with very often, busted ass all day putting in jobs, took my lunch hour to come home and steam beans and prep tomatoes for some homemade soup, went back to work and hammered out the rest of what had to be done, came home, ran to the store, came back home... and found my s.o. in a pissy fucking mood.
Nothing like that to set me off. I poured myself a glass of wine, put another coat on my acrylic gel samples and here I am. I'm venting. I'm going to spend the evening doing what I want to do. Reading, knitting, maybe a little sewing - at least pattern making. I've got such a huge list of things and so little ambition sometimes. I'm skipping my run today since I ran 5.5-ish miles yesterday (maybe more maybe less, I never really measured it). This will give me an extra hour and a half to get more stuff done.
I've decided that there is something about making my own clothes that really appeals to me. I love having something that no one else could ever have because I made it myself, because I made the pattern, because the fabric I used was an old table cloth from a thrift store. I have always liked having my own style and mixing and matching thrift store finds with my brand new store bought stuff. But I've gotten tired of going to the store, trying on a bunch of crap - new styles that require a belt, or are just not what I'm in to, or are not the right color - and then seeing that it is all made in some third world country - probably by some under age, under paid, over worked person that can barely make ends meet just so that us stupid americans can get trendy clothes at a reasonable price - a price, by the way, that is still way too high and the store will still make money when the product is marked down by 80%. Sick. I really think I'm done buying clothes - except for maybe bras and underwear and maybe jeans - just because I can't imagine (and don't have the right tools for) making them.
I made myself a vest a few months ago. The first piece of clothing that I actually made in a very long time. I usually make curtains, purses, pillows and that kind of shit. But to actually make something that fits me and that I like and took the time and had the patience to sew well, that is something! That is part of the whole appeal of knitting too. Now I can make sweaters! I started making a coat, a beautiful longer length coat. sort of a cranberry color wool. Fabric that I had bought back in college from one of the grad students that had been trying to clean out her sewing room. I had originally intended to do cyanotype (hand-coated photographic process {old school}) prints all over it and turn it into some kind of a blanket or throw with a nice little blanket stitched edge - kind of like a woolworth style item but with more gusto and a lot more edgy and less pine-cones-and-oak-leaves-tame. BUT instead, I waited 10 years, started making a coat out of it and waited another two years, and now I need to finish it! I would love to have it done for this winter season.
I'm on the verge of another crazy fashion time of my life. Through the last two years of high school, and all of my college life, and then for a couple years after that I was a completely grunge-old-man-pants-wearing-mechanic-shirt-clad-flat-shoes-little-to-no-makeup-tom-boy. I'm going hippie-retro-punk-chic this time.
Nothing like that to set me off. I poured myself a glass of wine, put another coat on my acrylic gel samples and here I am. I'm venting. I'm going to spend the evening doing what I want to do. Reading, knitting, maybe a little sewing - at least pattern making. I've got such a huge list of things and so little ambition sometimes. I'm skipping my run today since I ran 5.5-ish miles yesterday (maybe more maybe less, I never really measured it). This will give me an extra hour and a half to get more stuff done.
I've decided that there is something about making my own clothes that really appeals to me. I love having something that no one else could ever have because I made it myself, because I made the pattern, because the fabric I used was an old table cloth from a thrift store. I have always liked having my own style and mixing and matching thrift store finds with my brand new store bought stuff. But I've gotten tired of going to the store, trying on a bunch of crap - new styles that require a belt, or are just not what I'm in to, or are not the right color - and then seeing that it is all made in some third world country - probably by some under age, under paid, over worked person that can barely make ends meet just so that us stupid americans can get trendy clothes at a reasonable price - a price, by the way, that is still way too high and the store will still make money when the product is marked down by 80%. Sick. I really think I'm done buying clothes - except for maybe bras and underwear and maybe jeans - just because I can't imagine (and don't have the right tools for) making them.
I made myself a vest a few months ago. The first piece of clothing that I actually made in a very long time. I usually make curtains, purses, pillows and that kind of shit. But to actually make something that fits me and that I like and took the time and had the patience to sew well, that is something! That is part of the whole appeal of knitting too. Now I can make sweaters! I started making a coat, a beautiful longer length coat. sort of a cranberry color wool. Fabric that I had bought back in college from one of the grad students that had been trying to clean out her sewing room. I had originally intended to do cyanotype (hand-coated photographic process {old school}) prints all over it and turn it into some kind of a blanket or throw with a nice little blanket stitched edge - kind of like a woolworth style item but with more gusto and a lot more edgy and less pine-cones-and-oak-leaves-tame. BUT instead, I waited 10 years, started making a coat out of it and waited another two years, and now I need to finish it! I would love to have it done for this winter season.
I'm on the verge of another crazy fashion time of my life. Through the last two years of high school, and all of my college life, and then for a couple years after that I was a completely grunge-old-man-pants-wearing-mechanic-shirt-clad-flat-shoes-little-to-no-makeup-tom-boy. I'm going hippie-retro-punk-chic this time.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Surprise
Labor Day. Weekend. Having a Monday off is so refreshing. I really need to start taking some vacation days from work here and there this fall. Just an extra Monday or Friday to have longer weekends once a month would be awesome. I'm going to need to do that in the next week or so to go down to Artprize with my mom. I do need to put in a few extra hours this week just to make up for the extra time that I took off by leaving early on Friday. I love these long weekends and time in my house when no one else is here.
I haven't blogged in a few days - I intended to on Friday - but got carried away with other things and going out to dinner and for drinks at a few new spots in town. Then on Saturday, my s.o. and I went to a restaurant out of town for a late breakfast and then cruised around to the little shops in that area. We even stopped at a little winery and did some wine tasting. When we got back to our house there were a bunch of cars parked in the street and a tent in our driveway. Surprise. Birthday party. It was so nice to have all the people I care about all in one spot for a few hours. My whole family drove up and so did my best friend and her husband and one of their three kids. IT really was a surprise and it was wonderful. And, apparently, when you're 30 people expect you to be drinking a lot. I was given a fifth of vodka and 5 or 6 bottles of wine. Now, my wine rack is full and I don't need to be buying and booze for a while.
Yesterday, friends from downstate came up and we got sucked into hanging out with them for the whole evening and didn't get home until almost 1 AM. I'm awake, ready to get back on track, working on my acrylic gel lift layering, getting caffeinated and ready to go for a run. The weather has taken a cold turn. Which is great for running, but not so great for going to the beach or anything like that. School starts tomorrow - so I'll be carting my s.o.'s son every morning at a time that is typically too early for me to be awake. This may, however, allow me to leave work a little earlier than normal since I will be arriving before my normal time.
I also need to call one my my co-workers today. She asked that I stop over at her house this weekend sometime so that we could discuss some things. She is very secretive and private and has not actually aluded to what the hell she wants to talk to me about - except for the possibility of a studio space on her property. Interesting. Maybe that will work.
That might give me some more real purpose in what I'm doing with my art life right now. Maybe Artpirze will help too. I've got two books to finish reading and I've got a knitted hoodie that I need to finish before I can start on all of the knitted Christmas presents that I'd like to make. I just need to also work into my running and daily life all of the art stuff I want to try too. I keep saying this over and over but it's like a mantra. The more I repeat it the more it sooths me and the more of a chance it has of coming true.
I haven't blogged in a few days - I intended to on Friday - but got carried away with other things and going out to dinner and for drinks at a few new spots in town. Then on Saturday, my s.o. and I went to a restaurant out of town for a late breakfast and then cruised around to the little shops in that area. We even stopped at a little winery and did some wine tasting. When we got back to our house there were a bunch of cars parked in the street and a tent in our driveway. Surprise. Birthday party. It was so nice to have all the people I care about all in one spot for a few hours. My whole family drove up and so did my best friend and her husband and one of their three kids. IT really was a surprise and it was wonderful. And, apparently, when you're 30 people expect you to be drinking a lot. I was given a fifth of vodka and 5 or 6 bottles of wine. Now, my wine rack is full and I don't need to be buying and booze for a while.
Yesterday, friends from downstate came up and we got sucked into hanging out with them for the whole evening and didn't get home until almost 1 AM. I'm awake, ready to get back on track, working on my acrylic gel lift layering, getting caffeinated and ready to go for a run. The weather has taken a cold turn. Which is great for running, but not so great for going to the beach or anything like that. School starts tomorrow - so I'll be carting my s.o.'s son every morning at a time that is typically too early for me to be awake. This may, however, allow me to leave work a little earlier than normal since I will be arriving before my normal time.
I also need to call one my my co-workers today. She asked that I stop over at her house this weekend sometime so that we could discuss some things. She is very secretive and private and has not actually aluded to what the hell she wants to talk to me about - except for the possibility of a studio space on her property. Interesting. Maybe that will work.
That might give me some more real purpose in what I'm doing with my art life right now. Maybe Artpirze will help too. I've got two books to finish reading and I've got a knitted hoodie that I need to finish before I can start on all of the knitted Christmas presents that I'd like to make. I just need to also work into my running and daily life all of the art stuff I want to try too. I keep saying this over and over but it's like a mantra. The more I repeat it the more it sooths me and the more of a chance it has of coming true.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Illuminated
I just finished watching 'Everything is Illuminated'. Interesting movie. Really makes you consider your predecessors lives - especially if they came from a different country and an era and place where a war happened. It makes we want to travel to Ireland. To see where my family came from, the problem is that my family moved to America so many years ago that there is no one alive today that would remember those people or anything about them. I might be able to find distant cousins and maybe their elders would be able to shed some light on the brave souls that migrated across the ocean, but odds are it would be extremely difficult to find them even if they did know anything.
I finally got to eat my birthday cake today. I had a cake at work (a nice surprise) on my day, but this one was special. My s.o. got it for me and we were so tired when we got home that night that he forgot and I fell asleep. I'm just dragging out my birthday celebrations so I can feel like I haven't turned 30 quite yet. This is Birthday: Day 3. I did realize though that no one sang the happy birthday song to me this year - for the first time in my life. 5 years ago I was serenaded by three men - two of which I slept with and while I only slept next to the third one. Interesting what half a decade can do.
My s.o.'s brother. What a piece of work. I love the guy. He's building an awesome set of steps/deck on the back of the house we live in. He's very good at what he does and he loves it and you can tell. But when it comes to women, that is another story. He keeps dating these girls that are nowhere close to what he wants in his life. He breaks up with them because of the drama, but gets back together with them because he's lonely, or he needs something to do, or just because he needs to be getting laid to feel good about himself. He's an attractive, intelligent, talented, funny (seriously), all-around-great kind of guy. He just keeps selling himself short because he will settle for anything with two-legs-and-a-hole because it makes him feel validated and worthy. I want to slap him around and force him to make a list of the top twelve things he is looking for in a woman and not allow him to date anyone that doesn't match that list. He is wasting his energy and his life chasing tail and feeling empty because those relationships never go where he wants them to.
I didn't run today. Too hot. I'm going to run tomorrow even though it is Friday and my s.o.'s son is spending the night at a friends house. I'm going to make the time to do it - even if it's only a 4 miler. I can always run a 6 or 8 miler this weekend. Thank the universe that it is a long weekend - and hopefully its not the last of the summer weather. I've got to set aside some time to do these things that I want to do. I just haven't figured out how to make it work and starting next week it is going to be even more complicated because school starts and I'll have to take a kid to school every morning.
I think that Saturday mornings will be where it's at. Before everyone else is up during the week maybe. But mostly the weekend. I just need to do it and stop thinking about it.
I finally got to eat my birthday cake today. I had a cake at work (a nice surprise) on my day, but this one was special. My s.o. got it for me and we were so tired when we got home that night that he forgot and I fell asleep. I'm just dragging out my birthday celebrations so I can feel like I haven't turned 30 quite yet. This is Birthday: Day 3. I did realize though that no one sang the happy birthday song to me this year - for the first time in my life. 5 years ago I was serenaded by three men - two of which I slept with and while I only slept next to the third one. Interesting what half a decade can do.
My s.o.'s brother. What a piece of work. I love the guy. He's building an awesome set of steps/deck on the back of the house we live in. He's very good at what he does and he loves it and you can tell. But when it comes to women, that is another story. He keeps dating these girls that are nowhere close to what he wants in his life. He breaks up with them because of the drama, but gets back together with them because he's lonely, or he needs something to do, or just because he needs to be getting laid to feel good about himself. He's an attractive, intelligent, talented, funny (seriously), all-around-great kind of guy. He just keeps selling himself short because he will settle for anything with two-legs-and-a-hole because it makes him feel validated and worthy. I want to slap him around and force him to make a list of the top twelve things he is looking for in a woman and not allow him to date anyone that doesn't match that list. He is wasting his energy and his life chasing tail and feeling empty because those relationships never go where he wants them to.
I didn't run today. Too hot. I'm going to run tomorrow even though it is Friday and my s.o.'s son is spending the night at a friends house. I'm going to make the time to do it - even if it's only a 4 miler. I can always run a 6 or 8 miler this weekend. Thank the universe that it is a long weekend - and hopefully its not the last of the summer weather. I've got to set aside some time to do these things that I want to do. I just haven't figured out how to make it work and starting next week it is going to be even more complicated because school starts and I'll have to take a kid to school every morning.
I think that Saturday mornings will be where it's at. Before everyone else is up during the week maybe. But mostly the weekend. I just need to do it and stop thinking about it.
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